Saturday, September 27, 2008

Emotional Abuse

I looked up emotional abuse and here is what I found. It said that if you can respond yes to more than just a few of these, your partner is probably abusing you. I will let you make up your own mind as to why I posted these.


Humiliate you privately or in public.
Criticize you, call you names, yell at you.
Hit or push you, even "accidentally".
Interrupt you.
Ignore your feelings.
Have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason.
Disrespect you.
Present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders.
Ridicule or insult you then tell you it’s a joke, or that you have no sense of humor.
Give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family, or not allowing you to socialize with them.
Try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are "wrong”.
Act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors.
Complain about how badly you treat him or her.
Try to control decisions.Questions your competence?
The other person places unreasonable demands on you and wants you to put everything else aside to tend to their needs. It could be a demand for constant attention.
You are subjected to constant criticism, and you are constantly berated because you don't fulfill all this person's needs.
Parent-child pattern of communication is most obvious when the abuser takes an aggressive stance.
The underlying judgmental "I know best" tone the abuser takes in situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships.
The other person may deliberately start arguments and be in constant conflict with others.
The person may be "addicted to drama" since it creates excitement.
When the abuser disallows and overrules any viewpoints, perceptions or feelings which differ from their own.
Someone wants to control your every action. They have to have their own way.
Trivializing, which occurs when the abuser suggests that what you have done or communicated is inconsequential or unimportant.
Drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have no clue why you posted these. Hmmmm, I wonder why.

Really, Kate hits every one of these. I guess I should feel bad for Jon. I don't know how he lives with her.

I think the only one missing here is the person takes your balls for themself.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I think I know why you posted them. They describe someone to a T.

Libby said...

Wow! Where on earth did you find such a comprehensive list of all of Kate's character traits? Ya...Wow!
Enough said.

Poppet said...

Definition

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. They believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school. In particular, narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as histrionic, antisocial and borderline personality disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around psychotherapy.

Symptoms
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

*Believing that you're better than others
*Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
*Exaggerating your achievements or talents
*Expecting constant praise and admiration
*Believing that you're special
*Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
*Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
*Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
*Being jealous of others
*Believing that others are jealous of you
*Trouble keeping healthy relationships
*Setting unrealistic goals
*Being easily hurt and rejected
*Having a fragile self-esteem
*Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don't receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may also seek out others you think have the same special talents, power and qualities — people you see as equals. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

But underneath all this grandiosity often lies a very fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.

Causes
It's not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. As with other mental disorders, the cause is likely complex. Some evidence links the cause to a dysfunctional childhood, such as excessive pampering, extremely high expectations, abuse or neglect. Other evidence points to genetics or psychobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking.

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Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I don't think there is one that Jon cannot say yes to, that is so very sad.

Anonymous said...

What if you can say Yes to all of them? Jonnnn?

Anonymous said...

Is Kate a textbook case or what?

Unfortunately I know one person myself who is testing positive for each and every one of these traits. She is now a bitter, self-involved old hag who can't even work at her profession because she doesn't work and play well with others. Grandiosity, that's her watch-word, and I think that applies to Kate, too.

Anonymous said...

I noticed there is some physical abuse along with the emotional abuse. I just hope she is not physically abusing those kids too.

Anonymous said...

You know, someday this will get the kids too, if not yet, someday.

Bugsy said...

I can't imagine treating the ones you are supposed to love like this.